The Blind Date (A Short Story)

 

Our character, Sena

"I want rice and chicken."

Osei smiled. He had her right where he wanted her. Quickly he waved the waiter over.

"Two plates of fried rice, with chicken, please" he flicked his finger,

"Oh, and kindly add a bottle of your finest wine. For the fine lady here,"

He gave that Cheshire grin again.

The waiter hurried away and Sena settled into her seat, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

  

A MERE FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...

She was fuming, wishing this night over already!

When Maadjoa arranged this date, she'd been vague about the details.

The guy was rich, good-looking, he was a fine conversationalist, "stuff like that," she'd said.

She'd shrugged and gone back to the book she was reading.

And here she was now, stuck with this, this ... pig!

"Good-looking" had flown out the window the second their food arrived.

  

His lips were covered in grease, and the beard he'd been sporting earlier now served as a dish-rag; Sena could see traces of coleslaw in the curly hairs on his face.

He tried to speak around the gulpful of wine in his mouth, pieces of chicken flying around the table.

"Are you - *swallow* - are you, having p - pun?"

Sena smiled. If this joker thought she'd dare open her mouth while it was still raining chicken and wine, he'd thought wrong.

What nonsense was this?!

After what seemed like an eternity later, he grunted. Then let out a vibrating belch.

The couple on the next table turned to look. The woman shook her head, eyes sympathetic. The man just looked annoyed.

"I've got to use the restroom. Excuse me, please." Sena did not wait for an answer.

She was putting on finishing touches to her make-up when the woman from the table came in.

Joining her at the sink, she smiled, shook her head again and spoke.

"Blind date, eh?" at Sena's nod, she added.

"Those things are like that. Sometimes, they're good. Other times, they leave you scarred and bitter. I don't need to ask which one you're having." She laughed and continued,

"Keep pushing on. That's how I met my Gary - after 7 horrible attempts." 

She sighed and gave Sena a pat on the back.

It seemed a bit too intense to be having this kind of a conversation with a stranger in a restaurant bathroom, but Sena needed all the encouragement she could get tonight.

"You're strong. You'll get through it." 

The lady entered one of the stalls and proceeded to emit a fart so loud that Sena had to laugh.

This woman paah!

A quick whiff of the air told her she'd be in the red zone soon. She cleared her throat.

"Thanks a lot, errrh..."

The woman laughed from within the stall, 

"Adeline. My name is Adeline. And you'd do well to get out of here - that Pad Thai they served is laced with *'kanwe', I swear it!" and as if to drive home her point, another fart was released.

"It was n - interesting meeting you, Adeline. Thanks for the advice," then she escaped, one gassy hell to another.

The end?

NB: Most of the photos you'll see in this are credited to Pinterest: Black Women Art