Nia

Hey there. It’s another week to be great, to go out there and claim the goodness and the greatness that belongs to you. It’s a great new opportunity to go out and make something out of the day, out of your life, out of this week. That soppy optimism aside, here’s what’s really happening. It’s Wednesday - barely the middle of the week and you might probably already be tired. Tired of working. Tired of thinking. Maybe even tired of breathing.  Let’s not pretend for one second. Let’s not pretend we’re the bee’s knees for that second, or that the world is our oyster. Let’s embrace the pessimistic, the realistic, the cold hard… truth? The world is broken.  And we are flawed. Incredibly flawed at that. “So now what?” you ask, 😏 You see, it’s not rainbows and unicorns all the time. But it is also fruitless labour to throw your hands in the air and claim death and despondence because the world is broken. Yes, your job sucks - but so does hunger. And your depression...

Entering into a season of rest. These few weeks have been stressful; truth be told they have been a bit more than I can handle, and then some. I have walked away from relationships, left home, and tried this whole "Adulting" phase by myself.   It has NOT been easy, and constantly I am forced to consider the decisions I have made. All this change because I had lost my peace, had disappointed the people I loved, and thrown a wrench into the unit I called family.  I was beating myself up over mistakes I had made when I was much younger, and more stupid, and now I was learning that people do not forget, and that very few people forgive. I had walked away from my past, but it still followed, and nothing I could do could change the me people saw.   I was in dire need of peace. Rest from it all.   Suicide and depression were calling all 4 of my names, and God knows how many times I tottered over the edge of that cliff.   One Saturday I c...

My works are dull. My thoughts are dynamite. My words are a thousand exploding stars. And my feelings, fools. I don't know love. I know peace, and joy, and happiness, and family, and food, and books, and pain, and chocolate, and sorrow, and tears, and grit, and friends, and blood. But I don't want love, If it involves slitting my wrists to satisfy your base desires. I don't want love if it means I drop my armor, strip my defenses bare, and lay my heart  upon an altar of You, You and You. I don't want love if You're not ready to lose the word "Me" I don't want love if the only reason you chose me was because it was fashionable. So if you're worried I might want your love, Don't. If love is for you, Then I don't want your love.