Nia

Hey there. It’s another week to be great, to go out there and claim the goodness and the greatness that belongs to you. It’s a great new opportunity to go out and make something out of the day, out of your life, out of this week. That soppy optimism aside, here’s what’s really happening. It’s Wednesday - barely the middle of the week and you might probably already be tired. Tired of working. Tired of thinking. Maybe even tired of breathing.  Let’s not pretend for one second. Let’s not pretend we’re the bee’s knees for that second, or that the world is our oyster. Let’s embrace the pessimistic, the realistic, the cold hard… truth? The world is broken.  And we are flawed. Incredibly flawed at that. “So now what?” you ask, 😏 You see, it’s not rainbows and unicorns all the time. But it is also fruitless labour to throw your hands in the air and claim death and despondence because the world is broken. Yes, your job sucks - but so does hunger. And your depression...

I haven’t blogged in long while, but let’s just say today dierr the inspiration has come. Said inspiration being that it’s not been long since that time of the month, and a sister has got a lot of repressed energy sitting in this body. Figured I’d put it to some good use. Sara Jakes Roberts shared a short video on her Instagram and I stumbled upon it while productively scrolling = honestly just wasting my data/battery power on there. I took some notes. It made me see that I had to start making my home in these words again, if I ever want to actually say something to the world, and so here it goes. Also, it's not deep like that, I've just been lazy and I want to start writing again. I lied, it is deep – I’m just feeling convicted. ·         “There is a mantle assigned to your name. Because you were not made to be in a vacuum, there was work for you to do. There is work for you to do. And because of th...

Yeast infection gone, Ash now had a lot of time on her hands, she had managed to convince her parents why she wouldn’t be coming home for the holidays – but she now realized there wasn’t much to do at all on campus. After finishing up a report she knew she was going to need when school finally reopened, she prepared herself for a short walk around the less populated school; the goal was to stretch her legs a bit before settling down to a movie and some homemade kelewele. She had barely put on her shoes when “oh!” the lights went off. It was rumoured the school authorities sometimes disconnected the electricity to discourage students who didn’t want to spend the holidays with family this time of year. She waited a whole hour before calling Cordelia “They’ve dum the light oh.” “Oh, how? Wait a little, it’ll probably come back within the hour.” When Cordelia was told it had been an actual hour since, she suggested Asheley go see the Hall Supervisor. ...

Entering into a season of rest. These few weeks have been stressful; truth be told they have been a bit more than I can handle, and then some. I have walked away from relationships, left home, and tried this whole "Adulting" phase by myself.   It has NOT been easy, and constantly I am forced to consider the decisions I have made. All this change because I had lost my peace, had disappointed the people I loved, and thrown a wrench into the unit I called family.  I was beating myself up over mistakes I had made when I was much younger, and more stupid, and now I was learning that people do not forget, and that very few people forgive. I had walked away from my past, but it still followed, and nothing I could do could change the me people saw.   I was in dire need of peace. Rest from it all.   Suicide and depression were calling all 4 of my names, and God knows how many times I tottered over the edge of that cliff.   One Saturday I c...

Whoo!!!   Okay, this version of WordPad is a bit better than the one I'm usedn to, and by used to, I mean absolutely detest! Also, pretend you didn't see the fact that I typed out "usedn" up there, I'm sometimes too petty to make said corrections - blame the computer for this. Let's get to it then. I almost didn't write this post. Because I suck at goodbyes and apologies, and I've never known how to pretend like one thing is something that it's not, even though I'm the queen of beating about the bush. Like the way I'm doing now. Wait here while I go Google pictures of Ansel Egort for inspiration. I read this blog yesterday. Just yesterday, because my prospective employer wanted to see if I could write, and she wanted to see something I had done previously. Suffice to say, it was weird reading my own words, and there were those moments when I was ready to swear that those words I was reading were not mine. I c...